Lately

Yeah yeah. I'm here sitting here in class. It's been a while since I updated this thing. I want to do it more regularly. But yeah so i've been growing my hair out. Trying to get dreads. It's pretty cool. I get a lot of hatred though because you don't see that around here a lot. All my life i've been rocking the fade cut and it's something really new that i've never done before. I mean i've had a fro before, but never dreadlocks. But i'm enjoying it. So yeah two weeks ago was my girls prom. it wasn't that fun like i expected but it was cool. much love. much hate it was a crazy night.

but let me get outta here cause this is getting kinda get. i'm gonna get back at these sudokus.

Peace

I Don't Want to Hear About It!

Okay yeah i got back with my girlfriend. Long story. I don't feel like talking about it. So it's been okay...i kinda feel like there may be a possibility that i might be whipped. I hate that shit. Oh man. Well anyways, my girlfriend does not quit talking about this teacher that she is so friggin' in love with. So and so, this, and so and so, that. I hate it. He's a cool guy. Yeah he's good looking. Fuck that he's not good looking, he's just good looking because he's a young teacher surrounded by old folks and he's not gay. So, of course the girls go crazy for him. I mean it's like it's still elementary school. This is high school. I thought that it would get better. But obviously it didn't.

The same thing happened last year when one of the teachers had a student teacher. I admit he was a pretty good looking guy, "cute" is what most of the girls called him. But yeah he was maybe 21 or 22. And the girls went crazy for him always wanting to spend time with him. Then one time his girlfriend came around and then they got all bitchy. This is 100% true. They were so rude to that girl and I felt bad for her. She was pretty "cute" herself.

So this guy that my girlfriend is in love with is a history teacher. And he is a really cool teacher. I wish i had him because i hear about what he does in class and it sounds so cool. She had him last year and won't stop bugging him. She's all goofy when she's around him and shit. I hate it cause what the hell am I going to do? i don't know the guy so i can't all of a sudden be goofy to with them. It's pointless to even mention it to her because it'll expose that i'm jealous and she'll think that i think she's immature, which she really is when she's around him. I really don't know what to do. I mean it's really annoying and i want to just duct tape her mouth shut so i don't hear about this guy. It hate it almost as much as i hate hearing about this friend of hers that is absolutely head over heels in love with her. it's fucking rediculous. he's a bitch in my eyes too.

Yeah I'm jealous so the fuck what? I get annoyed by this dumb shit cause i can't do anything about it. and if i try to break up with her i'll just be seen as the idiot that "trys" to dump his girlfriend but he keeps taking her back. i mean it was barely over 24 hours that we were broken up before i said i would take her back. Fucking rediculous. i need to get this fucking pussy and i need it soon ore i'm going to kill myself.

Why Now?

Okay today is Valentine's Day. It is February 14, 2008. Today i broke up with my girlfriend of almost nine months. I don't feel any certain way right now. I really don't understand how i feel right now. I feel bad and good. I feel bad because I think this might hurt our friendship. I still want to be close friends with her, but i know i can no longer be her boyfriend anymore. And I feel even worse because I feel good about it. I feel like i'm no longer held down. I feel free to do whatever i want. Not necessarily with hanging with females, but more like I regained my independence.

Now I know that it's bad that I feel this way. It shouldn't be like I'm a new person. I am still the same Nigel and I still have to go back to school and deal with the same daily shit. Yet I believe, somehow, that I am going to miss being in a relationship. I am going to miss belonging to someone, and someone belonging to me. I now have nobody. I'm back to being nothing. It sucks, but it may get better.

But what I really don't understand is why all of a sudden I want to up and start a blog. Why, today on the infamous "Love Day" I decide to end my relationship with my girlfriend and end up starting up a meaningless blog that no one will read? I don't understand it. But it is already done.

I guess I'll update this whenever I feel the need to.