Okay today is Valentine's Day. It is February 14, 2008. Today i broke up with my girlfriend of almost nine months. I don't feel any certain way right now. I really don't understand how i feel right now. I feel bad and good. I feel bad because I think this might hurt our friendship. I still want to be close friends with her, but i know i can no longer be her boyfriend anymore. And I feel even worse because I feel good about it. I feel like i'm no longer held down. I feel free to do whatever i want. Not necessarily with hanging with females, but more like I regained my independence.
Now I know that it's bad that I feel this way. It shouldn't be like I'm a new person. I am still the same Nigel and I still have to go back to school and deal with the same daily shit. Yet I believe, somehow, that I am going to miss being in a relationship. I am going to miss belonging to someone, and someone belonging to me. I now have nobody. I'm back to being nothing. It sucks, but it may get better.
But what I really don't understand is why all of a sudden I want to up and start a blog. Why, today on the infamous "Love Day" I decide to end my relationship with my girlfriend and end up starting up a meaningless blog that no one will read? I don't understand it. But it is already done.
I guess I'll update this whenever I feel the need to.
